Choose Your Wellness & Healing: Stop Self-Abandoning, Trying to Save Someone Else & Live Your Own Authentic Life
“Sometimes wellness looks like realizing you can’t save someone who isn’t willing or ready to participate in their own healing.” ~ Dr. Will Cole
By self-abandoning trying to save someone else, you lose significant pieces of your self. Choose your own wellness and healing. Live your authentic life. Though intentions can be loving, you can’t help someone who isn’t actively participating and taking control of their own healing and wellness. Participating is not succumbing to another’s pleading, bargaining or ultimatums; participating is spearheading the excavation of one’s layers and finding trusted professionals to talk it through and do the solo, messy, rewarding work of fighting for an authentic life - for oneself, not as an effort to appease you.
I’ve been there, putting resources in front of someone, begging them to plug them in & act, in hopes it acts as a catalyst and they find their own path in the process. It never works the way our pure hearts intend. In fact, this is often codependency. We lose key parts of ourselves when we try to do another’s work for them, and sometimes these pieces are unrecoverable if we repeat this pattern of trying to rescue another.
This is one of the toughest lessons. It feels like giving up on someone we love, abandoning them. At first, it comes with a heaping side of guilt, heartbreak, grief, even when we’ve exhausted all other options, bargained with them but stayed far too long compromising ourselves, and know there is no other choice but to surrender, say a prayer for this person’s healing, and move on.
If someone’s not fighting for their own life and wellbeing in every possible way, you can’t do it for them. One day the choice becomes clear: Stay and fight an impossible-to-win battle depleting and losing more parts of yourself, or compassionately move on and take care of what you can control: your own wellbeing.
Sometimes leaving is another’s catalyst for taking responsibility for themselves. When you stay, you not only contribute to enabling them to avoid their own work, you also abandon yourself. You no longer live your true path in life. And this holds you back from your own ecstatic joy, experiences and growth.
Choose your own wellness and healing. Refrain from self-abandoning. Live your beautiful, authentic life and take care of you. ♥️