The Art of Receiving: How Giving to Yourself & Being Vulnerable are Not Only a Gift to Others, but Also Your Job
Receiving is a vulnerable act to enhance your wellness, and also your job that gives to others.
In this season of giving, let’s turn the tables and talk about receiving. It’s actually one of your most important jobs as a human, a spouse, a parent, a colleague, a relative and as a friend. For many, this isn’t the easiest practice. Women are particularly socially conditioned to give (to the point of depletion) and are biologically hardwired to nurture.
If we take a step back and view life from a wellness perspective, I bet you can see that you can’t give to others when you’re barreling along on fumes, ready to short circuit, snap and run out of gas. Forget it if we add hangry to the mix, it’s a disastrous time bomb waiting to explode.
So ask yourself now: How do I give to myself? How can I relax enough to receive, from myself and others? In what ways could my receiving help others?
Here’s a quick exercise that takes 1 minute:
Close your eyes
Take a cleansing breath right now, inhale deeply through your nose and out your mouth
Do that again: Inhale deeply, exhale fully out your mouth
Ask yourself in your mind: What do I need right now? How can I receive more selflessly? What do I need to do to relax, in order to receive?
List three ways you can receive today, from yourself and others
Hold yourself accountable and allow yourself to receive. I’m giving you permission right now. And beyond that, I’m here to remind you that it’s actually your job to receive, for your and everyone else’s sakes.
Receiving is vulnerability. To be successful, it demands that you let your guard down. It’s not possible to receive if you’re cloaked in armor, rigid and self-protective, defensive or untrusting.
Here are some ideas to practice the art of receiving and getting vulnerable:
Self-Care: Make time every day to take exceptional care of yourself in body, mind and spirit. Commit to it. This can take a mere few minutes per day.
Receive Pleasure: At times this can feel selfish, but I assure you there are lovers and partners who relish in giving pleasure, and yours is likely one of them! It’s your job in a healthy relationship to receive sometimes. Give them the opportunity to make you feel amazing. Ask for it. One of the most loving acts is giving pleasure to another whom you care about, so indulge them, be selfish for a bit, enjoy all the pleasure and orgasms your beloved partner bestows on you, and acknowledge that in addition to feeling incredible, you’re providing them with a HUGE boost of confidence and oxytocin! [On a side note, a reluctance or dismissal of giving you pleasure is an enormous relationship/dating red flag. You need and deserve a lover who craves you and can’t live without making you feel amazing, just as you do for them!]
Notice the Beauty All Around You: It’s everywhere! It could be a mural you walk past on a building, a flowering weed emerging through a sidewalk crack, the shapes of snowflakes landing on your coat, the act of someone holding the door for you or asking how your day is going, a hug, the pretty design your barista leaves in your latté foam, a gorgeous human, your own smile. When you set your intention to notice beauty all around you in life, it’s a magnet for even more beauty. The amount of beauty in this world is overwhelming and will bring you to tears, if you simply choose to see it.
Take Yourself on Sparkle Dates: Yep, I mean ALONE. Aim for one date with yourself per month. Go somewhere the beauty is undeniable and you feel great. It could be a hike to a gorgeous new place, a run through your favorite park, lunch by the ocean, a Pilates class, 30 minutes to do absolutely nothing in your favorite nook in your home, an hour in your garden, whatever makes you feel the magic and the sparkle of life. It’s your job as a human being to indulge in the things that make you feel ALIVE!
Actively Practice Gratitude: By giving, you receive even more. Acknowledge the blessings in your life, all that you have, the abundance around you. Journal about it, appreciate it deep in your heart, share it with others, give back and pass it on.
You at your best is what the world needs most. It’s what you need, it’s what your kids need, it’s what your spouse needs, it’s what your coworkers and clients need, it’s what your friends and family need. Your wellness and the act of receiving are your job. Now get out there and practice it, and watch how it affects everyone around you, including yourself.