Everyday Wellness Tools: Healing Our Emotional Patterns

“We are here to take the pieces of the Universe we have been given, burnish them with kindness, and return them in better shape than we received them.” ~ Fran Sussman

How do our emotional patterns form, and even more importantly, how do they affect our lives now? Healing your oldest wounds is THE most impactful things you can do to embrace your wellness and move forward in life most authentically.

Emotional wounds are difficult to recognize and identify initially because they’ve been active for so long, they feel familiar and “normal,” even though they repeatedly cause pain and throw wrenches into your capacity for success. Yep, they hold you back. And you can change them in order to live up to your highest potential and live the authentic life you’re meant to fulfill.

When these wounds remain unconscious or are ignored, they repeat, again and again. They are a way of life, a life that’s fraught with frustration, sometimes depression, low self-worth and overall dissatisfaction…because it’s not your authentic life when it’s dictated by patterns that don’t align with who you truly are - make sense? These patterns typically show up in toxic relationships and friendships, in choosing work and professional environments ill-suited for you, deep limiting beliefs, and an overarching inability to thrive. Some people fall into patterns of self-sabotage, unhealthy coping habits and self-medicating with substances, in order to avoid the pain caused by wounds inflicted by inherited patterns.

These patterns sometimes run deep, like generations deep. They are learned as survival mechanisms and get passed down through your family’s lineage. A term that’s becoming more widespread is ‘generational trauma.’

What patterns or cycles in your life cause you pain? Stepping back and asking yourself this question as an observer can be an insightful first step to becoming aware of areas in your life that need some excavation, understanding, love, compassion and deep healing. Learning the origin of these patterns and why they exist is the light they need to be recognized and healed, to shift the behavior and pattern, and to find peace.

This process finally breaks the cycle of continuously re-injuring yourself, operating in ways that repeatedly rip the scab off these deep-rooted issues and make it impossible to really move on and evolve. Your power now lies in making the choice to act from the wise adult part of you, to dig deep in order to move forward, claim your authentic path and begin operating in healthier ways.

With this work comes a tremendous sense of relief - a heavy weight or cloud is lifted. Clearing these obstacles in life results in exponentially greater happiness and satisfaction, better quality relationships, friendships and work situations. And with this, your AUTHENTIC SELF is revealed.

The way to begin this work is with a trained therapist. Find a qualified mental health professional well-versed in the work you want to dig into and resolve, with whom you feel at ease and trust. It’s worth taking the time to speak with multiple professionals to find the right fit. Ask pertinent questions, make sure you choose someone who endorses this process, and choose the one whose approach resonates most deeply with you, the one you trust to hold space and guide you through the work. Referrals from a Coach or trusted friend can be a great place to begin your search for a great therapist.

Once you have a grasp on understanding your patterns and are healing them, Coaching can also help reinforce the work you do with a mental health professional. Coaching focuses primarily on the present and the future. Great successes can be made having the support and awareness of these topics with your Coach. Coaches love to help you create healthy new habits, patterns and neural pathways!

This work of embracing your wellness and healing emotional patterns is the hardest, most satisfying work we can do in life. It requires courage. It changes everything. I invite you notice your patterns and find a professional ally to do the work that results in making life brighter, more vibrant, richer & juicier.